Inside a crazy womans Mind

Wicksteed Park...

2008-09-09T16:30:00.002+01:00

Now i know why i usually take the photos..i am so overweight its unreal but i have decided to be fat and happy and not worry about it anymore..sad thing is we went to a boat race and i got asked if i was pregnant..Not Blooming likely i said.Twice was enough i can assure you.
Wicksteed was Fun though we went on all the rides that would hold my weight that is..

Long time no see..

2008-09-09T16:24:00.003+01:00

ng it
Well the kids holidays came and went with loads of events in between..Boo managed to break her arm by standing on her football to kick the dog..yeah i know but she still hasnt learnt that she is not immortal.She managed to take it off herself too when she got fed up wearing it.
Yes we even went to one of those indoor play places when she was in pot..

2008-07-14T08:59:00.003+01:00

Ok so those who know me know im not girly at all but...i was at CTM the other week watching Kirsty Wiseman doing a fabulous demo..photo to follow as soon as Lyn posts me them..lol..and i saw this bag..
I couldnt get it as i was in the dog house..yes i make mistakes too..and paid for it.Lets just say i have been on the wagon now for over a week and although i miss my sauce i do feel better for it.
I went back to CTM to get one and found that oh had already paid for it and put it aside for me..what a fantastic reward!..
I also gave in to temptation and bought a cropadile..something ive been putting off for a while but its sooo easy to use and beats banging holes in the table..lol..wheres the wood filler?..lol.

Anyways the weekend i went to see KW with my teamie Lyn and i must say she is a really lovely lady..Im proud to call her my friend.She bought us girls some little bits and im ashamed to say i didnt think to do the same in return..My head was all over the place the week before.
So Lyn went shopping..lol..3 times round CTM.

Gotta craft kits are another one of my favourites..i made this wall hanging from one of their kits and still have loads left to make a couple of los.
http://www.gottacraft.co.uk/catalog/index.php
Thats their link for anyone wondering.The kits are fabulous and great value for money and at that price wont break the bank.Im hoping to nab this months as i forgot about the pre order..duh!
So today they go live and im eagerly awaiting..Finger poised on the buy now button...

I broke my glasses yet again..i am typing with one eye shut so i can see clearly..i really need new glasses so im off to get these repaired and get an appointment..

We took the kids and Belle to Hinchingbrooke park at the weekend.It was lovely letting Belle run free but not so lovely hearing the kids arguing all the time over every little thing. It puts you off taking them out as they just dont appreciate anything you do for them.

Beth got a big bike at the weekend.We decided to let her spend last years xmas money on something she could use..a pair of roller skates and a bike..
Chloe had her school report and it was excellent so we treated her to new clothes and a ds game..she chose brain training..

thats about it for now..Boos just jumped off the sofa and hurt herself yet again...bbl
Lx

Fed up..you bet!

2008-06-11T10:35:00.002+01:00

We had a major leak in the bathroom last week and had to spend out loadsa money to get it all sorted..i still have a hole in the ceiling and one in the bathroom floor but hey ho it will get fixed as Ohs having a few days off next week.
We replaced the back fence and gate this weekend to stop Belle getting out..it was half price so not too expensive.Just meant i had to do two dump runs and still have more to take but ohs getting us a skip and we are going to have another major clear out while hes home.I have wardrobes in boxes waiting to go up in the bedroom..had them a year now and still havent decorated our room.
We are using the old ones that were left in the house..theyre usable but not what i wanted for our room..way too small in my opinion even though i havent that many dressy clothes oh has a lot of shirts..lol..i already binned half of them but he must have at least a hundred or more.
Today Boo is at nursery again and im just doing a bit of hw..going to get my hair cut later with a bit of luck and probably sort out some scrapping to do.Ive had no inspiration lately..been too tired and stressed.

Belle gets her second set of jabs on friday then we can take her out for walks.Shes going potty being cooped up in the yard she needs to be exercised..will get the Boo to do something as well as shes a misery at the moment..cant be helped though she gets wicked heat rash in summer and it really itches no matter what i put on it..going to get her some piriton today and see if that helps.

Mum at Chelsea Flower show

2008-06-11T10:33:00.003+01:00

Well this year mum didnt get anywhere with her arrangement..But she will be invited again next year you can bet your shirt on it.

2008-05-29T17:00:00.002+01:00

This is my latest lo of Andys Granny meeting Boo for the first time.
Shes a remarkable woman and is still going strong at 90.

Well tomorrow its the vets for our Belle..shes having a check up and hopefully if she gets the all clear her first jabs. We need to pick up a travel cage for her so she can go everywhere with us..not that i will be driving much with the diesel prices going up like they have..my Billie takes £60 to fill up now and i cant justify driving aimlessly about anymore so it looks like im using shanks pony for a while.
I walked into town yesterday and it nearly killed me thats how unfit i am..im hoping that having Belle will get me out a bit more on my own and exercise more as a family..There are quite a few dog friendly places to go round here.

Our bin is overflowing with Maggots yet again..every summer its the same and i use a bottle of bleach a week in it to try and eradicate them..trouble is we only have fortnightly collections and we are supposed to recycle food waste so i guess we will have to put up and shut up..

The garden is looking nice now weve had some rain ..ok so we have planted broccoli here and there but then why not it looks nice and green..we planted green beans last year but they didnt come to much..

Boos bedroom is nearly finished...it just needs more disney characters on the walls ..i did cinderella yesterday and her coach and the fairy godmother..im working on Belle and the Beast next but i keep running out of black cardstock..well its a good excuse to go to Capture the magic...lol

Today i took the kids to skylarks to get them out the house..we have been in looking after Belle and catching up with hw while the weathers been crap..kids played for an hour before the rain started coming down..and by the looks of it its in for the night.

I hate the rain...its bad for witches you know..

2008-05-28T09:03:00.000+01:00

I have sharp teeth you know..lol

Poorly puppy

2008-05-28T08:53:00.003+01:00

Well the trip to the vets was a nightmare..The vet thought Belle had Parvo which is a killer if left untreated..we were told to take her to the main practice in March and when we got there we werent allowed in..they did all the tests in the car park..I really wanted to cry as the poor little girl was so poorly and lethargic..anyway the vet came out and said it wasnt parvo but it was serious and so we were allowed into the examination room where he gave her a jab of anti biotics and then loads of other meds to administer at home.
Anyways nearly a week later and shes a normal little puppy now...

Changes..........

2008-05-21T08:49:00.002+01:00

I hate the change on UKS.The team chat is from latest post down instead of the other way around..all bloody confusing..and as team leader i now have to go into the profiles of my team to collect points..i have voiced my dis approval on the smack blog...
Now the smack blog i go to daily and read comments at the moment theyre bitching about some woman..havent got a clue who she is but then i havent got a clue who most of the names are..so i dont comment..im not one for pulling people i dont know to pieces.
Yesterday i did hw all day got most of the downstairs done and broke the hoover so i need to get a new part for that..i can still hoover up though using one of the attachments but it takes forever as its only four inches wide..
The kids have been all over Belle and she loves the attention but i do wish they would leave her alone when shes in her bed..i can see tighter rules are needed there so will discuss it tonight at dinner.
We are one of those rare familys that sit down at the table and talk about our day taking it in turns to tell everyone else.Sometimes theres not a lot to say and others theres loads..

Today Boo goes to nursery so i have a couple of hours to myself..i look forward to this as i get to play with my cricut.I got a new cart the other day and need to start making Belle and the beast and all the characters and The little Mermaid for Boos room..once its done i can sit down and laminate them all and put them on her walls..

Belle

2008-05-19T21:04:00.002+01:00

This is the latest addition to our family..
Her name is Belle and she was born on the 25th of Feb 2008...Isnt she the sweetest little ball of fluff you ever saw?
She is a spaniel cross border collie and i fell in love the minute i saw her..

Today she went to the vets to be given an mot..she needed worming obviously and shes having her first jabs on thursday..

I must admit getting up to a pile of doggie poop was horrid this morning as i dont do mornings as a rule..i need half a dozen cups of coffee and at least ten fags to get me moving so having to deal with that was a shock...she will get the hang of going outside eventually...its all a bit hit and miss as this is her first official day in her new home.
Oh spent a small fortune kitting Belle out this weekend from dog cages ( she needs somewhere to escape the kids) bedding, toilet trainer pads, food bowls and food not to mention actually buying her..it looks like we will be on beans and toast all week..lol..
The kids adore her though and so far so good they havent tormented her as much as i thought although she loves chasing Boo and nipping her legs..something i hope she gets bored with soon.

Latest los

2008-05-15T09:13:00.000+01:00

Well these two were made from Sarahs cards March scrapbooking Kit.Im very pleased with them..i had a rush of inspiration yesterday and managed to do two los.

So thats the craft side of me done..

Im getting a bit fed up with being team leader of a team that isnt there..we have about half the team regularly chatting and the other half in limbo and i dont know what to do to bring them all back to the thread.I know the good weather is here and everyone has different things going on in their lives but just a post a week would be nice..have a bit of a chat about the week and share any los they have done...
I see them on the site and i wonder why they arent popping in to their team..Instead of moaning on here i should be pming them all and asking them whether they still want a place.
So thats my mission for today.....

Here comes the summmer sun..

2008-05-14T08:50:00.000+01:00

Dont you just love the summer? we have had one of the most glorious weeks and i am feeling pretty good..i hate winter so much i think i should hibernate..
Lets see whats been happeniing in my world..well i completed a few dwarfs for Boos room which we managed to decorate over the weekend.They need laminating as well but i thought id let you see that i have been working on something.
I got a shed but its going back as its the biggest load of crap ive ever seen..Going to make one ourselves instead as we do need a shed out back if Andys going to make the utility room a fish house.
My mum goes to Chelsea today to do the show.Fingers crossed she gets a medal this time round. They keep inviting her to take part so shes obviously good enough ..
Apart from that ive just been enjoying the sun and feeling happy...Goofing off from the hw as much as i can get away with and spending time outside.

2008-04-22T10:56:00.000+01:00

OMG Im 40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well i guess i knew it was coming after all ive been dreading it for months..40..middle aged..going grey..gravity pulls..oh woe is me..
Saying that though i had a fantastic birthday which lasted for the whole weekend and i didnt get drunk..
I got some gorgeous presents from the family and i spent all day making disney characters on the cricut..Yesterday i got the big A3 card to make "Hooge" ones..Boos bedroom is going to be first and Chloe now wants some for hers so it looks like i need to buy more..lol.
Thankfully i have a fantastic scrapbook shop in Soham which is like from here to Butterwick away..opens every week and has some fantastic stash..I love Capture the Magic ...Not sure how you link to sites but if you google it will come up.
Ive been over on the smack blog too voicing my views..i really dont see the point of going to Ally Pally and i said so..id much rather spend a few hours leisurely walking round Vikkis and not have all the crowds and pushing and stuff also my kids love going there...
The smack blog has interesting comments..not all of them very nice but then its a smack blog..i see a lot of jealousy on there but i guess some women are like that.
I know im not your average competitive female..and i will never in a million years make a design team unless i pay to get on one..lol..but some women take scrapping way too serious..Its just a hobby and its not the end of the universe if your lo doesnt turn out to be award winning "art".As long as i like it who cares??

2008-04-15T15:55:00.000+01:00

I told you all my oh loves his fish but this is taking it way too far..lol..
I had a brainwave while out shopping and got him this snorkel set so he wouldnt have to keep holding his breath when trying to take things from the bottom of the 8ft ...

2008-04-08T18:38:00.001+01:00

Im having a right trip down memory lane this week...This photo was taken when i was about 3 when we lived in the caravan..i always thought we were gypsies you know and in a way i suppose we were..
I have such fond memories from those days...and i really should write that book..
I look at this photo and automatically go back to then..the toilets behind me were cold and quite scary ..you never knew who was in there as there were doors at either end..not a place to go alone i can tell you..
But nevertheless i had a great time playing around the vans till dark with my brother Michael and getting up to all sorts of Mischief...
To let you know how daft we were as kids heres a couple of examples....My mum had had her teeth out and was laid on the sofa asleep..obviously unwell ....it was snowing a blizard and we were bored so me and Michael got into the cupboard and started playing with a dress up cardboard set my mum had bought for xmas...UHU glue was a must in those days and we found it...we glued every bit of the paper garmenst onto the cardboard figures and by then we were bored.....Mums still asleep...we decided to suprise her by making her a snowman..so we got the nappy bucket and began filling it up and making a snowman....we must have had about ten buckets of snow and sticks and whatever else we could find...then we went to wake her up to supriseher with our efforts..i knew she would just love it..
My mum came awake and went off on one..no really..she went nuts...i guess building it in the kitchen area of the van was probably not a good idea but it was cold outside..........

The next thing we did was lose the colour tv.....i know how do you lose a tv youre asking...well simple..mum had nipped to the shop and we had only had the set for a couple of days..we were home alone..someone knocked on the door and said they were the tv men come to fix the tv and that mum had sent them....so we let them in..they told us they had to take the tv to be repaired so we let them..Mum came home and went mental...Both of us got a smacked bum for that one..

And thats just two incidents...

2008-04-07T17:07:00.001+01:00

Thought id better put something related to my hobby on here today.This is my effort for the monthly challenge.......
Why the title...well it had to be family orientated and unfortunatley we never seem to get group family photos taken..the last one was when Boo was a baby.
So teh next best thing to family is friends and i chose this one because i have been friends with Lorraine for 27 years this year..My friendship with her has lasted longer than all of my relationships and even my marriage!
We meet up and its like the years have dissolved... we are both the same people we were back then and that what i love about her..
Unfortunatley Glen is no longer with us in body but not a day goes by that i dont think of him...wishing wont change the past though.

And the strangeness goes on.........

2008-04-06T14:53:00.000+01:00

I got a phone call from my brother yesterday..not that strange for some but i havent spoken to him in nearly a year..i havent even seen baby no7 yet and it seems odd..it makes me wonder if something is going on that i dont know about and i dont mean a party either.Anyway hes coming over this week whether he turns up will be another thing though.
I never hear anything about my brothers from mum unless i ask and then its very vague..Its like we all have our seperate little boxes that she keeps us in and doesnt think we need to know about each other.
We used to be a close family once..we would meet up at xmas like families do..now youre lucky if we all attend the same funeral.
As kids us three were very much united against whatever was getting us down..we looked out for each other but now it feels like its every man for himself..
I guess this is called growing up....

April 2nd

2008-04-02T09:21:00.000+01:00

I have been so wrapped up in trying to get the house and garden tidy ive had no "me" time..although yesterday Helen popped in for a coffee and to invite us to her silk painting exhibition.She had an idea to make a scrapbook /journal of her work and thats where i come in..so on friday i will have all the house gleaming like a new pin and will be able to scrap it with her..
I also got a strange phone call..not really strange i guess but unexpected..My friend Lorraine who used to live around the corner from my nan rang me. Ive been friends with her for i dunno..since i was 13 .....27 years..and i still see her as we were back then although we both look a little different i guess. She is so lovely though and when we talk its like i only spoke to her yesterday.

So today i have to do housework..tomorrow im at my mums as its dads birthday..havent bought him anything as i havent got a clue what to buy...will pop something in his card and let him decide.
Its impersonal but practical..Ive even bought him a card this year..for the past two ive made them..i dont like making cards..im a scrapper..lol.

Home...

2008-03-31T09:08:00.000+01:00

It looks very different to when i was a child but then a lot has happened since i was there last.
This was my nan and grandads house and where i felt the happiest..They didnt spoil me or anything..they just let me free..id come and go as i pleased doing things i probably shouldnt and generally having the time of my life.
I would walk from here all over the place ..visiting my auntie and uncle and hanging out with my best friend who lived in the next street over.
We did things you wouldnt let your kids do nowadays like playing in the forest..well dead body hunting..it was our favourite pastime ..never found anything though.
We would go over the Rodine to climb trees and paddle in the water there..we had so much freedom back then..Kids today havent got the imagination or the common sense we had..If we were approached by anyone we were nasty enough to give back three fold..we all stuck by each other and looked out for each other too. We were never bored..

The memories i have in this house will always be with me..drinking tinned milk from the can..rice pudding to die for..my nans tales and laughter..my grandads smile...the swing in the garden..The pie and mash shop over the Broadway...the tube station where i would scream blue murder when i had to go "home"..and later cry all the way to Kings cross..

Strangest thing is though i couldnt live there now..My friends have all moved away....my grandparents are gone....Its just a place in the past where id love to have time stand still and if they ever make a time machine its the one place i would go back to..

Tagged By Helen

2008-02-17T10:20:00.000Z

It's a tag with a difference
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME?
Here are the rules:
1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name).
3. After you are tagged, you need to update your blog with your middle name and your answers.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and that they need to read your blog for details.)
Its at times like this you curse your parents for giving you such a long name!!!!

So here goes
F i have a fiery temper
L Lazy Moo..I hate hw and do anything to get out of it
O OMG Im a boring person!
R Rebel..im definatley a rebel..i do things i shouldnt all the time
E Excitable in a scrap shop
N Nasty..i can be a bitch when im provoked ..
C clever but pretend to be thick so i dont get asked to do anything..
E Everyone who knows me knows im a nice person

Well today is sunday..i have been tagged and i have no one to tag back..Helen has done everyone i know..lol.

Its really sunny here and i love the sun..when the days are dark and gloomy my mood drops so fast its like tipping over a bottle of milk. But today im up there with the world and im actually smiling.
Yesterday we went to Cambridge to pick up some fish equiptment and then clothes shopping for the Boo ,she is growing at an alarming rate and so i decided to throw out her old clothes and restock with stuff that actually fits. I hate shopping for clothes but luckily Boo is easily pleased you just show her the item and say do you like this and its either yes or no..simple really ..Unlike Chloe who has to try everything on and twirl around looking at herself all over..im not looking forward to shopping with her before the summer..lol..
We ended up at the garden center in the craft section and i didnt buy anything.I spent it all on Boo..kids come first in our house and fish come second...lol

Last week was half term and i went to visit mum and dad..Boo loves going to theirs as my dad has snakes and reptiles and she is totally in love with snakes of any kind.
My mum gave me a steam iron..i hid the last one so i didnt have to use it but this one is too big to lose..lol..Guess i will have to start ironing again..Thanks Mum xxx
I also got my nephews address and i wrote out a letter last night to him but im in two minds wether to send it.
My nephew has been a bad boy and is serving time at HMP...I dont see how i can help him in any way as the damage to his life was done so long ago that hes destined to be in and out of the institution..The system has failed him and so have his parents. My dad says dont get involved as it will bring trouble to my door and hes right but a part of me feels sorry for the lad.I mean hes had such a crap childhood..i doubt even therapy could help him..He has been in trouble before and when he came out i got him some new clothes and tried to give him some advice..so he goes to stay with my brother in one of the roughest areas of town..All the familys you see in the court briefs live there..so the poor lad didnt have much hope.
When i lived there i would get involved in everyones troubles and try to help as best i could but i moved away to start a new life and look in and out occasionally..i dont get involved anymore as you cant help anyone who wont help themselves.
My older bro is unhappy but he sits there wallowing in self pity instead of doing something about it. I was scared to change my life but getting divorced made a new person outa me. I caused a lot of heartache and destruction and lost a lot financially but at least im happy now..I know i did the right thing.We only have one life and its ours to do with what we please.If youre sad find out why and change it.
My younger bro has had yet another hic up in his married life..well im not suprised 7 kids can do that to you..hes another selfish little bugger who needs a kick up the ass every now and then.I feel sorry for his kids..what a bloody great role models they have..baby by 16 and married, no job no education, a home that kim and aggie wouldnt touch with a barge pole and no self respect.
His boys are totally out of control and i can see me writing to them inside when they get older.

I guess youre sitting there thinking im a self rightious bitch well so you should because i have my priorities right..My kids come first and yes they are spoilt but then i didnt have kids to make money on them.

Right long post going to make a coffee and do something constructive while the sun is shining
Lx

Im Up!

2008-02-04T16:40:00.000Z

My mood has changed i am up yet again..Being depressed is like riding an out of control rollercoaster..Unless youve been on it how can you understand it..
When i get really down i feel like im dropping into a big hole like in Alice in wonderland..i know im going down but i cant grasp anything to hold me up..it can be triggered by a lot of things too.
I get angry with everyone and everything for petty little things, i get paranoia and think im being followed..i know its all in my head when im having a rational day like today..i re read my last entry and to be honest my other half isnt waiting for anyone else ..its my insecurity... my mind playing tricks on me.
Why would he wait? I mean if he wanted someone else i couldnt and wouldnt stop him going.We only have one crack at life and its meant to be lived.I learnt that when i was married..i think i saved us both from a crap life by getting divorced.Is he grateful? Is he hell ..hes so bitter and twisted about it and i feel nothing..He should be grateful..he got a free divorce because i paid for it and he got a lot more out of it than i did..in the fiscal sense..i got my freedom and paid a high price for it but it was worth every penny!

Well im aware i am having a good day so i wont sit here for long...i think im going to scrap.

Jan 2008

2008-01-23T09:28:00.000Z

Im really down this week..i dont know why but im constantly on the brink of tears..Guess its my depression and anxiety letting me know its still there.
I have so many worries at the moment..Maybe some are silly to others but very real to me and very difficult to share with anyone at the moment.
So if im not my usual prozac induced happy self i do apologise..
Now on to my blog..well we all managed to survive christmas..kids had the bug and then we did too..did wonders for the waistline while it lasted..lol..
New year was just like anyother..i hate new year..auld lang whatever..i used to love new year before i had kids as i would meet up with people i hadnt seen as they had moved away but always came back to town to celebrate with their families. The one person i looked for i couldnt find and then a couple of months ago i did thanks to friends reunited.I didnt want the pally pally we had i just wanted to know he was ok.And before it even crosses your mind no he wasnt a Boyfriend.We just a had quite a few things in common and i thought we would be friends forever.He was the first person i let get close to me emotionally..how does the song go..id die a thousand times for you ( tenderness is a weakness) and i would defend him when anyone slagged him off for years after. I doubt he ever knew as he moved away to start his life somewhere he could be himself. I always said id be there whenever he needed me and i meant it but you know he never came.He had it in his head that i had outed him and i didnt.I truely hand on my heart can say that.

I have found someone i want to spend the rest of my life with but my insecurity and suspicious instinct just wont go away..its like hes waiting for someone else...someone he wants to be with more than me..so i keep my distance , build up my little walls and drift thru life never knowing where i will be in the future and not looking too far ahead.

November spawned a monster

2007-11-15T11:17:00.000Z

Hi ..long time without blogging but then i havent had time to turn around lately.
Why this title? well my little bro whos not so little now has just had baby number 7..well his wife has...My bro has kids like most people have pay rises and in my opinion its very unfair on the children he already has. I wont even start on this subject and before you say it i am not jealous..i love my two very much and know that in time when they need my help i will be able to give it to them..how on earth can you do that for 7 kids and on the dole?

Anyways i am going to my creative writing class this afternoon..i havent done much writing but i do have a couple of characters to be going along with..i cant write a load of drivel just because..i have to think and plan before my pen even touches paper..My tutor is very sweet bless her..she says i have the makings of a writer..Maybe i do but then i will probably never get round to it like so many other things in my life.
I always put everyone else first and then there is no time left for me..

After a few weekends of looking for a car we finally have one so its back to the fish shops at the weekends by the looks of it..im bored silly with it now.I love my fish..but i think we have enough and it falls on deaf ears in this house.

I have been really good on the scrapbook stash spending front i havent spent anything on my hobby for two weeks now and the week before i bought some stickers for the kids.
I have had no time to scrap during the day as its taken up with housework and gofering.
I would love to hire a skip and throw all the crap in it..we have no space..everywhere seems cluttered up and if i start de cluttering it just gets left in the yard for me to take to the dump.. when do i have time?? There are 5 bin bags full and a load of wood waiting to go not to mention the old dishwasher thats been there 6months now.

So im going to do a plan of action...Will keep you posted

Lx

Rant of the day

2007-11-07T15:30:00.000Z

having collected Chloe from school today i have come to the conclusion that some teachers should read up what they are teaching.....
Chloe is doing christianity this year as her religious topic..Its a year thing set out in the curriculum..Anyway she comes home telling me there were 12 at the last supper and i said no there were thirteen so we had a shouting match all the way home as she was convinced her teacher was right. God bless google as i found a picture of the last supper and we counted them together.
Do i tell her my own beliefs or let the school tell her? I have no religious inclinations..i think the bible is a good story book but thats it..there is no proof.If there was a god why does he let people get ill and die in agony? why take a new baby? why are there people suffering from starvation and povery when he could feed thousands with loaves and fishes?

Rant passed.........

Time.....

2007-11-01T09:43:00.000Z

Where does time go?
Im pretty sure the older im getting the faster its going.
Last night was Halloween.My favourite night of the year..did a few spells and cast them out into the night with a hope that they work.
Today im starting a creative writing course..i figured it would help with the journalling on my scrapbooking if nothing else.Oh and you get free coffee and cake so its worth going just for that.
Im currently reading Terry Pratchett's Wintersmith..its a very entertaining read but lacks meat in my opinion.Im more your crime fiction reader so this book is so easy to plod thru without thinking too much and funny in places.Its an escape from reality for a while. I think that reading is brilliant for forgetting the crap thats gone on during the day.I can generally get right into the book as the main character and disappear for the time im in there.I dont think about bills or problems and it helps to get me to sleep.

Latest worries are ...Money or the lack of it..Christmas..its coming too fast..and my little Fiesta.

The Fiesta i have had since Chloe was small..its been places with me that no other car has..it got me escape when i was getting divorced..It was fought over and won..i lost everything but i still had my car and Chloe..It got me out meeting people and it got me to Andy and a new life so parting with it is going to be very hard.Its on its last legs and to be honest i know its not very safe to drive anymore.So we are going to get a car to replace it and i must kiss goodbye to the only thread of our past thats left.

Christmas is getting to be a pressure as the kids get older they need /want things that their friends have and Chloes very materialistic. have her main gift but i still need to get little bits and everyone Else's.
Andys birthday is in two weeks and i have no money to buy him anything yet.I have a list of bits he would like and you know its going to be a non surprise as i may get the wrong thing so he will have to pretend to be suprised for the kids.
Boo turns 3 in the beginning of December..i dont know what to get her for xmas let alone her birthday. She doesnt play with the toys she has and prefers to be creative with playdough or paint so maybe something along those lines..i have no idea..could always let her loose in toys are us and let her choose her own i suppose..

I have a friend who isnt very well and to be honest hes so far away i feel helpless.Im trying to keep him cheerful but at the end of the day he has the big C and dont know whats going to happen and neither does he. I sat thinking last night of all the young people i knew who had died and most of them were tragic in one way or another.Having the big C is your own body fighting its self basically and to me thats nonsense..why would your own body want to give up??
Penance it is not.Its just bloody bad luck.......
Fingers crossed the whip it out plan will work and all will be fine..i did jokingly say he should ask for a tummy tuck at the same time..i cant be serious when its really serious... i have to see a funny side..its how i cope.

Oh well more housework awaits so id better get my arse in gear and get it over with.
I do admit that buying the slow cooker was the best thing i did as it cuts down on loads of prep and clearing up..i just throw it in the pot and wait..lol.
Having the dishwasher is a bonus too.
Right slavery awaits
Lx

Half Term..

2007-10-25T09:07:00.000+01:00

I have so far had a crap week with the two girls...Theyre both so volatile at the moment.Boo has a cold and is constantly whiniing at me and Chloes in a permanent strop..
I have managed to do quite a bit of the jobs that needed doing though..i got the back yard cleaned up.I still have to go to the dump though but i cant be arsed with the moaning so oh will have to do that on saturday..or i will on my own.

I long for a whole nights sleep too.Boo keeps waking me up and this morning it was ten to four..she gets in bed with me and then wants a drink so i trot downstairs to get her one..then i come back up and shes said i want a new bum(meaning nappy) so i trot downstairs yet again fill up another juice cup and grab a new nappy etc..Then she wants to go back to her room so i take her back to bed ..by this time its four thirty...i looked out the window like you do and realised i had forgotten to put the bins out last night so i get dressed go downstairs yet again and out into the cold to move the bins...its blooming dark and cold out there..so now im wide awake!
I made a drink...not coffee..and sit watching Kenny swimming up and down until i thaw out a bit..
I get back in bed around five ish and try to sleep..ohs snoring and tossing about..i managed to drop off and then was woken up by Boo telling me it was nine o clock..it wasnt but she has no idea about time and its either nine o clock or two o clock..so i fall out of bed and try to start the day in a good mood..

I did manage to get some crafting done yesterday though i made a book and thouoght it would be a good idea for Chloe to make one too..well she moaned about everything and made it such a chore i gave up..I cant seem to please that kid nowadays.I try bloody hard but nothing s ever good enough.She gets up in a mood and starts agravating Boo as soon as she can, she has a hissy fit if you ask her to do anything and then she storms upstairs to sulk and peel the wallpaper.
A typical day starts off like today..she sits where Boo usually does to kick off a screaming fit from Boo..she turns over the tv programme Boo is watching..another screaming fit..then Boo will retaliate by tapping chloe so Chloe hits her back..
I do breakfast and then it starts again..chloe..I dont like toast, i dont like cereals, you know i dont like them but you dont care why cant i have pancakes/muffins/crumpets/crisp/biscuits...This happens every day.
Then its come on chloe get dressed..now i say this about ten times and get in a minute im just watching this..then its you never let me watch this..blah blah blah!
Teeth brushing is just as bad..you ask her ten times and she just ignores me then when i get angry she gives them a quick flick with the toothbrush and the blah blah blah starts again.
God forbid if we go anywhere like the supermarket.It starts immediatley..can i have this that and the other.Flicking Boo when ever she gets the chance or teasing her with whatever she can try and get away with..her favourite is giving her a toy and then i have to take it off her..not an easy task to explain to a 2 and a bit yr old we havent got enough money to buy said item.I cant wait to get out of the shop and often forget half the stuff because ive had enough.
Then we get home and she wont help to put it away..why should she im the mother im supposed to do it myself..Its then the whats for tea..i dont want that and the day goes further down hill..
I tried taking them out to the park and she still plays up.I have taken her and her friend for days out and she still moans..its boring..i am in a no win situation with her..
Now i suppose you think maybe i deserve this but I dont..I buy her toys and craft stuff and she is generally better off than a lot of her friends but she just doesnt see it. Its like shes at war with me all the time and i cant see a way out of it..
It needs some serious thinking about before i explode...

This post is turning into a rant and it wasnt meant to...i guess its a release to say what i feel without the backlash..
I have other issues that i wont go into today...i am truely having a pissed off week and cant wait for school to start so i can get some peace..
Right im being ordered to make breakfast again..maid is in motion..

New Toys....

2007-10-20T07:18:00.000+01:00

I had a day off from the usual Housework and went and bought myself a new toy.Its a Bind It All..Ive been waiting nearly two weeks for it to come in at www.capturethemagic.biz My favourite scrapbooking shop of all time!
Ok so Vikki doesnt have "everything" but her service is excellent.She will try to get what you want ...Always friendly and helpful..Always nice to my kids and believe me that helps especially as Boo is into everything from buttons to stickers...Reasonably priced and Best of all LOCAL!!
I am compiling a wish list for xmas and although i have all the big things i need theres always papers and stickers and cardstock which us scrappers cant do without. For those who havent a clue what to buy there are gift vouchers too.Even a fiver can buy quite a bit.

I also got Chloes xmas present..yes i know its only October but i like to start early so the kids get what they want.
I know my kids are spoilt but thats what you have them for. Chloe is very materialistic and wants to have what the other kids have which is only natural.
Boo however isnt materialistic at all..she would rather have a box and some paints to paint it with.I think shes going to be artistic like her dad.
To sum them up Chloe is a thinker and Boo is a do`er.

Today is saturday and we have lots to do again.Madgit needs a total re landscape in his tank as hes been digging and gravel moving all week ..there are parts of the tanlk with no gravel at all and the plants are floating.
My fish has been in a strange mood for a couple of weeks..The first week he was displaying all the time and out of his tunnel giving it the big show off..then he started gravel shifting and has now gone really moody..wont eat..wont come up to the front and acting like a sulky teenager.
Its a typical snakehead behaviour im told so i aint panicking just yet and buying goldfish to tempt his appetite back.

Cadbury the eel is being moved today too into the 8ft tank. Hes a very expensive fish( a rare Galaxy Eel hence the name) so has had to be climatised in another tank so the water ph is the same.
My snake head in the 8ft tank has grown it has yet to get a name..didnt want to tempt fate as Blue escaped from there and i was so upset as he was my little baby and so friendly.We have since covered all escape routes and so far nothings escaped.
We lost Flaggy though ..how you may ask..well i dont know..i think Baggy ate him myself as we did a major look in there the other night..I guess to a Tiger fish anything smaller is food and Baggy is one hell of a big fish.

Right id better get moving..will blog next week..

Tagged..

2007-10-15T11:02:00.000+01:00

I have no idea what this means but i have been tagged so i have to give 7 random things about me so here goes...
1.. I was once on the front page of the Lincolnshire Standard for writting to Princess Anne and getting a reply.She was coming to open something in town and i wanted to see her but we were away on holiday so i asked her if she could possibly change the date for me..lol.
2. Im scared of flying and having aeroplanes fly over me.I think theyre going to drop on me..i know silly! Worst experience of this was when i was driving to Lincoln one time with a mate going shopping and i saw a set of traffic lights starting to go amber so i put my foot down and then a bloody great plane flew over us and i screamed. I try not to drive by RAF bases..lol.My mate was laughing her head off..
3. I hate clothes shopping..i hate most types of shopping..I love stash shopping though and will happily spend an hour or two choosing stash..
It takes me five minutes to buy a pair of jeans..I go in the shop pick out the size try them on and im at the desk ..i have no fashion sense i just go for whats comfy.
4.I have no desire to get married again but i do love wedding cake..lol..
5. I am a loyal friend but theres no half way with me.You cross me youre gone its as simple as that.I very rarely forgive people..I think there are two ppl in my life now whom i have forgiven for past mistakes and they really hurt me at the time so bad that i wished them dead.
6 I have had some very weird jobs..peeling onions and gutting fish are just two..lol..
7.Finally...I believe in the afterlife and spirituality.I have had messages from beyond that have happened. I have experienced first hand ghostly goings on...

There that didnt take much thinking about really.I guess you all think what a weirdo..Thankyou id hate to be normal anyways..lol..
Im spending the day catching up with youve guessed it HOUSEWORK.!!!
Had a lovely weekend though so cant complain too much.
We went to Billericay to visit a scrapshop called Sugar and Spice and then on to Enfield to Wildwoods to look at the fish and get some supplies.
Yesterday we spent the day with mum and dad having lunch out and looking round the garden center.
We will be visiting them half term and Chloe wants to stop for a few days which has to be arranged.
Right will have a go at blogging more later
Take care
Lx

39 and OLD!!

2007-10-09T12:24:00.000+01:00

I know im a crap blogger..life just slips by so fast its unreal lately what with being a cleaner, chef and housemaid!
So im officially old.I have been told today that by this time next year i will be needing a hearing aid.Im borderline at the moment. Good excuse to play Marc Almond on full volume i suppose..lol.
This last few days have been one disaster after another..Mistake no 1...It started off with Boo cutting one leg off her trousers.Yes it looked funny and i cant for the life of me find the scissors she used.I couldnt even see the missing "leg" I presumed she had binned it.
So ok that wasnt so bad after all they were her clothes for painting in...
I left her happily watching peppa pig while i went to change the beds.
Mistake no 2..She decided to wash her hands after going to the loo but left the tap running and the plug in.I came down to a toilet floor full of water seeping into the hallway and Boo trying to cover it with the towel the tap still running...still in her one legged trousers but wet thru..I didnt know whether to laugh or cry so i just mopped the mess up with towels and threw them in the washing machine.
Mistake no 3..Now i use the soapliquid you put in a little ball and it goes in with the clothes and the comfort pearls go in there too..I though i ll put it on when i get back from picking up Chloe from school. I did and while i was sat talking to my teamies i heard water running.Now we have water noises from the fish tank filters so i though nothing of it until i got up to check and it was the washing machine draw! The missing leg was stuffed in there!
Mistake no 4..Feeling totally grotty now ive cleaned up so much water im stressed and i feel like my legs are like jelly as its that time of the month too..Chloe said she would help me cook tea....what a very helpful little girl....shes nine now..i mean who cant cook mince? I supervised and she stirred but then when i popped to the loo she decided to give it some "Flavour" oh yes she tipped half a jar of dried rosemary, half a jar of herbes de province and a whole bulb of garlic in it.Un be known to me..i came back gave her the lasagna dish and told her what to do and she did it.
Mistake no 4.Chloe took it upon herself to do some veg...shes seen me do sugarsnaps on many occasions and has helped me many times..we wrap them in foil with butter so i said ok you can do it and went to sort out the mess Boo was making with the paints.Tea time came and we took one mouthful of them and had to spit them out as she had put so much salt on them.YUCK!!!
The lasagna you couldnt taste except garlic and rosemary so strong that even one portion was enough.

Yes she tried but i swear she was out to get me back for giving them fish the night before!
And shes defiantly my daughter as i used to be as wicked as she is now.

Life in general

2007-09-25T08:57:00.000+01:00

Funny how every morning i wake up totally shattered as if i havent slept. Why is that? I mean i do sleep , like a normal person i dream but it rarely wakes me these days. So why do i feel so pants in the morning?
Thats not my only gripe this week.HOUSEWORK! why is it always there.I think gremlins come in the night and mess everything up so i have to start again .Every day is the same.I start by loading the dishwasher and then run around like an idiot cleaning till its school pick up time.I should live in a spotless home but after all the effort it still looks a shit pit.
Well i have decided not to do this anymore.I am going to clean until lunch and then have a bit of the afternoon to myself.
As you all know i am in a scrapbooking team on UKS.I feel like im letting everyone down as i have no time to scrap or to chat for long. I have totally cut my spending on stash to a minimum as i have loads of papers etc that i must use up.Saying that though in a couple of weeks Vikki at CTM opens every week so i could be tempted to spend a few pounds in there!
We had a lotto win of £450 the other week and i spent the afternoon thinking of what i wanted to buy with it. I can honestly say i have everything i could possibly want.I own diamonds of varying colours, i have necklaces and watches and all the usual girly stuff.I am really lucky as i have a life most people envy.I can have exactly what i want and do you know i couldnt think of anything i really really wanted....so i paid the gas Bill and the car tax and service out of it and put the rest in the bank.Ever the sensible one me!
I have always been like it so i doubt im going to change now.I have no credit cards, store cards or any debts.I hate being in debt so i figured a long time ago that if i cant save for it then i cant have it..simple really..Im also lucky that Andy is in the same frame of mind as i am. We must be the only people in our little group of friends who are like this. Believe it or not its a bad thing not to owe anyone.We went for the mortgage and because we have nothing on credit we struggled to get one.This day and age they think everyone has credit and they use this info as a guideline as to wether your a good payer or not! Blooming ridiculous if you ask me but thats the way of the world.
Right i need to sort out the mess the gremils have left me again.

Week of Frustration!

2007-09-08T10:50:00.001+01:00

I have had a week where i feel like Alice running in the water to get dry!
I went to the local college with a friend and found a course which is perfect for me BUT i have to be tutoring for at least 30 hours before i can enrole.I have been trying frantically all week to do this and have been banging my head up a brick wall.
Im onto plan B now which is to find out how to start my own course in the area im in and then i can enrole.So i need to get in touch with those in the know and see what happens from then.
I have been offered a course on creative writting..well ive been told many times i could write a book..lol..So im going to enrole in that to keep me occupied while Boo is at Nursery.
So all week was taken up writting letters and running about..

Is it beginning autumn already??

2007-09-03T15:51:00.000+01:00

I took the girls for a walk into town today and for a play in the park.
I cant believe the leaves on the trees are already changing colours.
Autumn is coming and we didnt have much of a summer.

Today is the last day off school for Chloe..is she looking forward to going back? You bet she is!She has missed all her friends and although she moans like mad about having to get up early and hates PE she does enjoy stretching her mind and learning new things.
Boo starts nursery mid month..im not sure how she will take to it either as shes a very headstrong little madam. I can see me being spoken to after every session as shes just not your typical two and three quarter year old.Shes very strong for a girl and has a temper to match my own!

I took the first step today on becoming a usefull member of society..I contacted a lady who runs tutoring classes in the community to see if there were any courses or tutoring positions available. It may not seem much to some people but to make the first step to me is a big thing as i lack confidence in myself .I may seem like im sure of myself but its all an act to fool everyone.I feel so scared inside i am physically sick.
I guess thats the depression i have....

Back to school...

2007-09-01T16:24:00.001+01:00

I am so glad the kids go back to school in the next couple of days..
FREEDOM!!!!!!
My Boo starts nursery so i get to have some "Me" time..I cant remember the last time i went out without the two girls in tow..So how will i spend my time ? Im going to see if i can get a job tutoring for the two afternoons im free.
I have a list of what i want to do and since passing the City & Guilds in adult tutoring id love to go on to do a Certificate in education or a Cert Ed as its commonly known.
I need to have a few hours tutoring first so my first step is approaching someone who can help me on my way.
My second choice is going to do A level phsycology and become a councellor..not sure where i could go to do that but im willing to go to night school if need be
My third choice is to learn sign language and a foreign language..Chloes doing french this year and id love to be able to help her out so a refresher course would be ideal. Andy can speak french at o level grade and i wish id stuck at it when i had the chance.
My forth choice is to work in an old peoples home..I love old people they are so full of history and need to be respected and looked after in their twilight years. Im a caring sort of person and think id be ideal for it.
My fifth choice would be to work as a teachers assistant..i had a taster of that when Chloe started school and i actually enjoyed helping the kids to read and count.Chloe could already read the key words and alphabet before she went to reception class at 3 years old as well as counting to 20 and knew all the colours.Now its backfired as she cant be bothered with school..its too easy.
My 6th choice is to work at the local prison/ childrens home as a visitor or tutor.Not been met with much enthusiasm by all who know me though for various reasons i wont go into at the moment.
If all else fails i will be working in the local supermarket, not that theres anything wrong with that at all..i spend more time in there than any other shop..lol..

Im going to tell your mum!!

2007-09-01T16:05:00.000+01:00

Why do some motorcyclists think the are immortal? I have seen so many near misses this summer on rural roads and even motorways that ive decided to start collecting numberplates and shame them on the web into being sensible.
Im not saying they ride like it all the time but just one mistake can cost them their lives. And doing wheelies past my car is just plain stupid.!

Housework...

2007-08-31T19:34:00.000+01:00

Im sick of it!!
I could scream because the more i do the less tidy it looks and im not exagerating.
I have washing that would make Widow Twanky feign jealousy except i dont get paid to do it.
You wouldnt believe how many items of clothing the kids get thru in a day!
Then theres the usual housework like hoovering and dusting..I want to be a MAN!!!

31st August

2007-08-31T09:33:00.000+01:00

I cant believe we are nearly into september and we havent had a summer yet!
The kids go back to school next week..Boo has a nursery place too so i will get a break from them both..I wont miss the constant argueing and fighting or the "Im bored" every five minutes.Kids today just dont know how to amuse themselves.In my day you got up had breakfast and went on an adventure, got into mischeif and had a full day outside.We didnt have mobile phones and our mums didnt have a clue where we were until it started to get dark and we would go home.Our typical days events would be scrummping apples , climbing trees without a safety net..lol.Building rafts to float down the river on..none of us could swim but that didnt matter..Climbing all over the woodyard and having old "chicken legs" chase us..were just a few activities that we took for granted.Our kids today just dont have the daring to do anything.They play computor games and venture as far as the neighbours house to play.
Society hasnt changed that much.We are more aware of pedophiles but they were around back then ...Our mothers warned us about certain people being weird in the street but we just steered clear of them or if we were in a devilish mood we would go torment them by banging on the doors and pelting them with eggs etc. Our Mothers would clan together if there was a known pervert about and make sure they didnt stay around long.I wont go into details about that but a group of angry mothers are not to be messed with.

Favourite Me Picture...

2007-08-30T14:37:00.000+01:00

Well this is my favourite photo of me..yep i guess you could say its normal..lol..

Funny how when i dress up this way i feel so comfortable..Its not practical for everyday wear..you cant see the sleeves on this top they taper down and flow..Like cobwebs..

I dont like being photographed. There are very few photos of me on my pc as i tend to be the one taking them more often than not. I have many of various friends, relations and of course the kids which i cherish.

All the usual ones of course like First this and thats and events that happen like birthdays etc.

So thats how i found my hobby of scrapbooking..i love photos and i love making creative pages.

Hello world...

2007-08-30T09:44:00.000+01:00

Well this is my first ever go at doing a blog so excuse me if i get it wrong..
Id like to start off by telling you how my blog got its name..Well im a sandwich short of a picnic and although my life is quite simple i can still manage to complicate it somehow.

Why a blog?...Well i used to keep a diary but have become so lazy i havent done an entry since january..I figure im online most of the time and so it would be easier than writting lots of Emails to various friends and family..This way i write once and everyone can log in..

So thats my opening post..must go find out how to do a profile.....