Im having a right trip down memory lane this week...This photo was taken when i was about 3 when we lived in the caravan..i always thought we were gypsies you know and in a way i suppose we were..
I have such fond memories from those days...and i really should write that book..
I look at this photo and automatically go back to then..the toilets behind me were cold and quite scary ..you never knew who was in there as there were doors at either end..not a place to go alone i can tell you..
But nevertheless i had a great time playing around the vans till dark with my brother Michael and getting up to all sorts of Mischief...
To let you know how daft we were as kids heres a couple of examples....My mum had had her teeth out and was laid on the sofa asleep..obviously unwell ....it was snowing a blizard and we were bored so me and Michael got into the cupboard and started playing with a dress up cardboard set my mum had bought for xmas...UHU glue was a must in those days and we found it...we glued every bit of the paper garmenst onto the cardboard figures and by then we were bored.....Mums still asleep...we decided to suprise her by making her a snowman..so we got the nappy bucket and began filling it up and making a snowman....we must have had about ten buckets of snow and sticks and whatever else we could find...then we went to wake her up to supriseher with our efforts..i knew she would just love it..
My mum came awake and went off on one..no really..she went nuts...i guess building it in the kitchen area of the van was probably not a good idea but it was cold outside..........

The next thing we did was lose the colour tv.....i know how do you lose a tv youre asking...well simple..mum had nipped to the shop and we had only had the set for a couple of days..we were home alone..someone knocked on the door and said they were the tv men come to fix the tv and that mum had sent them....so we let them in..they told us they had to take the tv to be repaired so we let them..Mum came home and went mental...Both of us got a smacked bum for that one..

And thats just two incidents...

Thought id better put something related to my hobby on here today.This is my effort for the monthly challenge.......
Why the title...well it had to be family orientated and unfortunatley we never seem to get group family photos taken..the last one was when Boo was a baby.
So teh next best thing to family is friends and i chose this one because i have been friends with Lorraine for 27 years this year..My friendship with her has lasted longer than all of my relationships and even my marriage!
We meet up and its like the years have dissolved... we are both the same people we were back then and that what i love about her..
Unfortunatley Glen is no longer with us in body but not a day goes by that i dont think of him...wishing wont change the past though.

And the strangeness goes on.........

I got a phone call from my brother yesterday..not that strange for some but i havent spoken to him in nearly a year..i havent even seen baby no7 yet and it seems odd..it makes me wonder if something is going on that i dont know about and i dont mean a party either.Anyway hes coming over this week whether he turns up will be another thing though.
I never hear anything about my brothers from mum unless i ask and then its very vague..Its like we all have our seperate little boxes that she keeps us in and doesnt think we need to know about each other.
We used to be a close family once..we would meet up at xmas like families do..now youre lucky if we all attend the same funeral.
As kids us three were very much united against whatever was getting us down..we looked out for each other but now it feels like its every man for himself..
I guess this is called growing up....

April 2nd

I have been so wrapped up in trying to get the house and garden tidy ive had no "me" time..although yesterday Helen popped in for a coffee and to invite us to her silk painting exhibition.She had an idea to make a scrapbook /journal of her work and thats where i come in..so on friday i will have all the house gleaming like a new pin and will be able to scrap it with her..
I also got a strange phone call..not really strange i guess but unexpected..My friend Lorraine who used to live around the corner from my nan rang me. Ive been friends with her for i dunno..since i was 13 .....27 years..and i still see her as we were back then although we both look a little different i guess. She is so lovely though and when we talk its like i only spoke to her yesterday.

So today i have to do housework..tomorrow im at my mums as its dads birthday..havent bought him anything as i havent got a clue what to buy...will pop something in his card and let him decide.
Its impersonal but practical..Ive even bought him a card this year..for the past two ive made them..i dont like making cards..im a scrapper..lol.

Home...

It looks very different to when i was a child but then a lot has happened since i was there last.
This was my nan and grandads house and where i felt the happiest..They didnt spoil me or anything..they just let me free..id come and go as i pleased doing things i probably shouldnt and generally having the time of my life.
I would walk from here all over the place ..visiting my auntie and uncle and hanging out with my best friend who lived in the next street over.
We did things you wouldnt let your kids do nowadays like playing in the forest..well dead body hunting..it was our favourite pastime ..never found anything though.
We would go over the Rodine to climb trees and paddle in the water there..we had so much freedom back then..Kids today havent got the imagination or the common sense we had..If we were approached by anyone we were nasty enough to give back three fold..we all stuck by each other and looked out for each other too. We were never bored..

The memories i have in this house will always be with me..drinking tinned milk from the can..rice pudding to die for..my nans tales and laughter..my grandads smile...the swing in the garden..The pie and mash shop over the Broadway...the tube station where i would scream blue murder when i had to go "home"..and later cry all the way to Kings cross..

Strangest thing is though i couldnt live there now..My friends have all moved away....my grandparents are gone....Its just a place in the past where id love to have time stand still and if they ever make a time machine its the one place i would go back to..

Tagged By Helen

It's a tag with a difference
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME?
Here are the rules:
1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name).
3. After you are tagged, you need to update your blog with your middle name and your answers.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and that they need to read your blog for details.)
Its at times like this you curse your parents for giving you such a long name!!!!

So here goes
F i have a fiery temper
L Lazy Moo..I hate hw and do anything to get out of it
O OMG Im a boring person!
R Rebel..im definatley a rebel..i do things i shouldnt all the time
E Excitable in a scrap shop
N Nasty..i can be a bitch when im provoked ..
C clever but pretend to be thick so i dont get asked to do anything..
E Everyone who knows me knows im a nice person



Well today is sunday..i have been tagged and i have no one to tag back..Helen has done everyone i know..lol.

Its really sunny here and i love the sun..when the days are dark and gloomy my mood drops so fast its like tipping over a bottle of milk. But today im up there with the world and im actually smiling.
Yesterday we went to Cambridge to pick up some fish equiptment and then clothes shopping for the Boo ,she is growing at an alarming rate and so i decided to throw out her old clothes and restock with stuff that actually fits. I hate shopping for clothes but luckily Boo is easily pleased you just show her the item and say do you like this and its either yes or no..simple really ..Unlike Chloe who has to try everything on and twirl around looking at herself all over..im not looking forward to shopping with her before the summer..lol..
We ended up at the garden center in the craft section and i didnt buy anything.I spent it all on Boo..kids come first in our house and fish come second...lol

Last week was half term and i went to visit mum and dad..Boo loves going to theirs as my dad has snakes and reptiles and she is totally in love with snakes of any kind.
My mum gave me a steam iron..i hid the last one so i didnt have to use it but this one is too big to lose..lol..Guess i will have to start ironing again..Thanks Mum xxx
I also got my nephews address and i wrote out a letter last night to him but im in two minds wether to send it.
My nephew has been a bad boy and is serving time at HMP...I dont see how i can help him in any way as the damage to his life was done so long ago that hes destined to be in and out of the institution..The system has failed him and so have his parents. My dad says dont get involved as it will bring trouble to my door and hes right but a part of me feels sorry for the lad.I mean hes had such a crap childhood..i doubt even therapy could help him..He has been in trouble before and when he came out i got him some new clothes and tried to give him some advice..so he goes to stay with my brother in one of the roughest areas of town..All the familys you see in the court briefs live there..so the poor lad didnt have much hope.
When i lived there i would get involved in everyones troubles and try to help as best i could but i moved away to start a new life and look in and out occasionally..i dont get involved anymore as you cant help anyone who wont help themselves.
My older bro is unhappy but he sits there wallowing in self pity instead of doing something about it. I was scared to change my life but getting divorced made a new person outa me. I caused a lot of heartache and destruction and lost a lot financially but at least im happy now..I know i did the right thing.We only have one life and its ours to do with what we please.If youre sad find out why and change it.
My younger bro has had yet another hic up in his married life..well im not suprised 7 kids can do that to you..hes another selfish little bugger who needs a kick up the ass every now and then.I feel sorry for his kids..what a bloody great role models they have..baby by 16 and married, no job no education, a home that kim and aggie wouldnt touch with a barge pole and no self respect.
His boys are totally out of control and i can see me writing to them inside when they get older.

I guess youre sitting there thinking im a self rightious bitch well so you should because i have my priorities right..My kids come first and yes they are spoilt but then i didnt have kids to make money on them.

Right long post going to make a coffee and do something constructive while the sun is shining
Lx

Im Up!

My mood has changed i am up yet again..Being depressed is like riding an out of control rollercoaster..Unless youve been on it how can you understand it..
When i get really down i feel like im dropping into a big hole like in Alice in wonderland..i know im going down but i cant grasp anything to hold me up..it can be triggered by a lot of things too.
I get angry with everyone and everything for petty little things, i get paranoia and think im being followed..i know its all in my head when im having a rational day like today..i re read my last entry and to be honest my other half isnt waiting for anyone else ..its my insecurity... my mind playing tricks on me.
Why would he wait? I mean if he wanted someone else i couldnt and wouldnt stop him going.We only have one crack at life and its meant to be lived.I learnt that when i was married..i think i saved us both from a crap life by getting divorced.Is he grateful? Is he hell ..hes so bitter and twisted about it and i feel nothing..He should be grateful..he got a free divorce because i paid for it and he got a lot more out of it than i did..in the fiscal sense..i got my freedom and paid a high price for it but it was worth every penny!

Well im aware i am having a good day so i wont sit here for long...i think im going to scrap.